you defy everything I believe in and yet I still have to say "I'm sorry." What's the Godly thing to do?
I'll keep it & die again. I know I will. I think before I say, but not when I do.
There's nothing that can contain me but the power of the one that created me. Psychotic as it may sound, I believe there is still some sanity left. I don't know if I feel how Claire feels, but I sure know how it feels like.
The only way I'd die - suffocation and it happened once. It could happen again.
Help me.
I usually look forward to Sundays where I get to see my good friends. But my good friends are all gone. Maybe a few left. But still, not a Sunday since THAT DAY has it felt like it was a Sabbath. In fact, it's hardly restful.
I can't tell you why I react the way I do, but I can tell you what probably caused it.
I may not be edifying in what I say and I'm sorry. (there we go again.) But what you've said hasn't helped much either. Why I didn't turn to you the day I did what I did was BECAUSE of you. Well big whoop. Then there was all that about not knowing how to show care.
I don't know. It all seems so genuine I don't know which side of you to believe anymore. I don't know which of you, MOST of you to believe. I don't know who I can trust. Not even family, not even my family.
If I go back to my old ways, I'd only be fighting for me. Selfish. If I take P.R.'s advice and become vulnerable, I'll just look like a stupid weepy idiotic GIRL. I can't do both nor either.
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My brain, my strings and my keys.
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Everything in this blog is not to be taken literally sometimes.Thank you for reading and leave me a message. =)
