A Momentary Lapse

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

rapture

Sometimes, Spenser's blog can be seriously boring but when he gets down with the issues, its like a Royston Tan film.

I might be random but all things here don't just get typed by chance.
I don't sit in school thinking about issues to type them here. Thats just stupid.

Times you think you trust someone, times you think they can't be trusted no matter how long you've known them. I'm not saying that someone cannot be trusted even if you've known them for a long time but people change. And that change can be so invisible that when it hits you, it hurts like hell. So much that its one of those points we have nothing left but to cry out to God, where one has lost all purpose although it might not seem that way on the outside.

Need to tell someone I can trust and who can help get me back up. Not that I'm spiitually unwell. I'm just currently at full blown service and surviving on Christ alone. Even today, with 4 or less hours of sleep in 2 days, I am still able to get out of bed. Only yesterday I just cracked in the movie with my aunt. At least it was dark and no one could see.

Serfest

Serfest was good but I didn't get a hug from the carebear. Everybody say AWWW...
It was good. Very good. I was so esthatic when I saw the amount of people signing up for all the ministries. Especially the W&M ministry, and especially the vocalists. After what we've been through and persisted, the Lord sent us with 18 sign ups with vocals. Praise The Lord!

It was fun on Sunday too, hanging with the people and all. CAREBEAR! Joseph, you should leave those ears on. It suits you. XD

Thats all for today folks.
And in all randomness, I can't wait for our new cell to start!

eliZABeth 11:00 AM

Thursday, October 26, 2006

back to Jesus

OH YEA! hallelujah.

After yesterday, going out with Zhan and Mildred, meeting Jacelyn, Mr Low and Ms Kaur (only cos i forgot how to spell her current name), I realised one thing - my social life is actually looking up.

Moo...

I spent half the day wasting away until my mother decided to leave the house at about 2. Went with mother and Dred to check spec and lucky us, the shop was CLOSED for selamat Diwali. (multi tasking. oh the wonders) Then we went to Funan to get my ever so wonderfully pure lappie named... ok I did not name it. But is nice and white and small! That took almost forever after which we seperated. Mother headed home. Dred and I went to meet her "surprise". I was completely lost with Zhan's direction.
Z: "When you come out turn right. I'm there"
E: "I did. You're not."
Z: "Ok, you know the control station? Turn right."
E: "I still dont see you."
Z: "I'll go to the ticketing office."

Now that was something I could find.
Had pizza and cheese fries for dinner. Thanx Zhan.
I PAID FOR ICE CREAM! and that's cool.
I finally got to podrace. AGAIN!
Embrace the joy man!

POA is driving me crazy. Principle of accounts. Not some whack job interpretation of it like prisoner of azkaban.

You'll see, one day, this sign replacing the "Gone fishing" sign hanging on my door "Gone Mad".

Take my life God every part
I'm reaching out to give you my heart
One thing I wanna let you know
You're my hero

eliZABeth 10:34 AM

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

back to basics

How is it that one person's RANT can be others' interest when it is clearly stated by one that one person's RANT is never interesting.

I'm no Luke and can hardly write what he does but people express themselves differently. That makes them unique. And this uniqueness is prominent in some people. Apparently not me. Oh well.

Spent my Friday missing gym and going to that jetty again. Pictures can paint a thousand words right? Unfortunately the school laptop does not allow me to upload the pictures, everyone will have to wait.

Thanx for making me feel better. Well, a little better although I still feel sucky. Somehow when I sit in this classroom, I slowly feel my brain cells clamming together and evaporating, slowly seeping out through my scalp leaving my head an empty shell.
"HELLO! ANYONE IN THERE?!"
*echo*

I know I'm guilty of being selfish at times but it annoys me to know that someone who is guily of the same crime dispises selfish people and are selfish themselves. Contradictory but we're all human.
You know how people can sometimes annoy you at the slightest things they do no matter how close they are to you? Yes.
Imagine you plan and do all you can for an event and you don't get to see the result, morever, you were drawn away by an (personal feeling) uneventful meeting which could have been, possibly, summarised in 2 minutes! No farther elaboration. Ask me about it.
Those imageries are said to be as bad as the doing but vivid imaginations are rather unbearable and shall I say, unstoppable.

She sat there pining in the grey. There was nothing to see, nothing to hear, there was nothing. Nothing but the walls that surround her, encompassing her and her mind in the darkness that filled the void. A piece of paper floated for a moment and descended in front of her. It gave off a little illumination in that blackness, its white - sickening. With clammy hands she picked up the paper to see what was on it. Instantly, the paper collapsed in a heap of ash as dark as the surroundings. She continued to sit there, waiting in faith, not knowing the purpose of it all.

The world as you know it could collapse any moment. There are those times where you feel this way and you just wish that the second coming of Christ would be now,

or now

or now.
I need to escape. Escape to a place where I can find complete peace in Christ that I may not rely on man, that Love itself would rein in me so I may be perfect. From where I can find myself and never long for the favour of man!

Lord I need you

eliZABeth 6:06 AM

Saturday, October 21, 2006

these words are overrated

my life ain't.

Cliched? Not.
But to make something so precious become too widespread would be a little more than pitiful. Oh well.

Thanx Dwight and Joee for today. Needed a little of today to boost my mind and spirit. Lets do this sometime soon aiight?!

mother nagging. AGAIN. geez. going going gone.

eliZABeth 8:11 PM

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Anniversary #101

post #101

so here's the low down.
This past week sucked.
1. I've been talking to Spenser (miracle 1) and it made me realise a lot of things. Firstly, when your friends do something you don't like and they still do no matter how much to try to hint to them, LIVE WITH IT! (suck fest 1)

2. School life is amazingly improving (miracle 2) but the people around are getting slightly annoying. Im STILL living with it. (suck fest 2)

And if I carry on, possibly, probably, or rather perhaps people would stop coming to this blog, I MIGHT lose readers or there wouldn't be at all or there aren't any now. I dont give a beep. Its my life and I gotta suck it up and live it, thats how it is.

Staying miserable is depressing. Its nice to get a little smile or affirmation or even just a little hug once in a while from people whom you know who care, or never knew cared. My english is getting atrocious. I need serious help. I need serious MENTAL help. I'm almost done.

This blog isn't meant to rant in, otherwise it would be called a rant. o.o
Ookay!
FYI people. I've changed my number. Ask me for it.

I'm staring straight into the sun and I won't close my eyes.

eliZABeth 6:04 AM

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

eternally condemned!

(read as: eternally condemned *click*)

don't worry. Its not the perverseness of human kind distorting the bible.
Besides the justifications of why Eunice and I have to sit at the cupboard due to our mother's undergarment shopping, this is what we have in cell on Sundays.

not the whole highlight of this entry but I HAD to start off with something less entertaining. Or not.

You REALLY want to know something confusing? Try justifying these sentences:
-you are unique like everyone else

I shan't confuse you any farther.
I am, myself. Confused I mean.
I'll probably understand confused people better after today.
Thats if I continue listening. (:

I've got a whole lot of nice pics with Dwight which he hasn't sent. SEND IT!!!

Glenn's sent me home twice this week. Thanx bro. (: paiseh
Nice nice. Having someone send you home is good but having Glenn send you back can be scary sometimes. Next time, we eat at the prata shop opp Spenser's house.

SERVING
Serfest is up! Do not just join because you think it'll be fun.
Ok it WILL be fun but without passion to serve you'll find yourself drained and unmotivated. Other than that, there's still the part where you serve out of the over flow. If emotionally and spiritually you feel lagging, physically you'll be affected too. I'm not speaking out of knowledge but from experience. Almost everyone goes through this transition period where we face everything first hand. Problems, crisis, dilemmas and the Lord. You face him first hand and you learn.

There's a whole lot of surrendering you can do and learn to do in that. Thats when you can feel this change and where people see this change in you. I'm telling you its good. Its not the "feel good" that keeps us going but our hearts that does.

Feels like a whole load of crap don't it? Makes sense to me though. (: Serve with the passion to serve. (the liar's paradox)

tracing my thoughts again, I spent 1 hour or so writing or rather finishing a song. It is good. I'll sing it someday.

Someday...
when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold,
I will feel the glow just thinking of you
Just the way you look tonight.

eliZABeth 7:35 AM

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

waiting

this blog is DEAD! it needs a revival just like some things I know.

a lot of us need a revival. To be excited about something.
And the one thing we need to be excited about is God! I mean, we dont just go to church, slog through the worship and sermon and go home saying...*yawn* Im finally gg home.

Argh. We need to do something. A change to want to BE.

well, thats just what I think. (: presentation time.
woowoo

eliZABeth 10:07 AM

Monday, October 09, 2006

a cross ref

Took something from Clement's blog that I've been meaning to say.

Do you feel as if you're in a free fall?
Take heart.
God's loving arms are there to catch you. - Dennis Fisher

Freefalling to find grace again.

eliZABeth 8:55 PM

who am I?

Do you know that I still love you?
I hope.
Cos my heart is breaking.
I'm hoping, waiting, praying.
Believing only in something I put my faith in.
Just know that I love you.
I love you.

Saturday's camera whoring has got me motivated. I need more pictures. Feel like making a video again when I have the time, my schedule is cleared and making sure Im not overworking like my mom thinks I am. I need to get my mind off something I can't put my finger on.

The Lord has been telling me to wait, and wait I will. But he also told me that in wait, I will serve Him in ministry and he is definitely filling my schedule. Gosh I'm so packed I could just work for the Lord!
I've got so much to thank the Lord for. PL, all my friends and the people there who make up my family. I love you all.

JAFJ.

eliZABeth 8:30 PM

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Amen

believe in Him cos He answers prayer.

I promised to elaborate on what he spoke to me about. Well, the last day of September's SOW was a good one, not because we had wonderful special guests but because we always HAVE a special guest, that Audience of One that we sing for or play for every week. As I stood and lay all my troubles before Him in worship, He told me to wait.
I asked Him why and what I would be waiting for, and He asked "Do you believe?"
"Yes"
"Then wait and it shall be done."

Amen to that. What ever he brings in my life, I know it will be good. Just believe.

Yesterday I went with Eugene after school to get Yinyee's present. I'm blogging about it only because she knows about it. Spoiler.
We went to orchard and hunted for her present, finally deciding to settle for something BEEG and DURABLE.
Those are the only 2 clues to her present. Have fun yy!

Today will be another good day because this is the day that the Lord has made. Don't you think? (:

Now she's back in the atmosphere.

eliZABeth 8:16 PM

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

do you believe?

Saturday was great. First we had worship and it was good. The Lord spoke to me. Elaborate more later. Junita and Liang came down and gave us a really great finale for SOW september. Gosh..the moment they started singing Joee and I were so shocked we almost dropped the mee siam. Oh well...picture diary

Me, Liang and Junita

Sara and her beautiful song...

Birthday boys of the day..

Only one got away! Oh well..selwyn, we love you..HAHA!! TAU POK!!!

Happy birthday Selwyn and Eugene! (:

Lunch. Later.

eliZABeth 8:13 AM

Sunday, October 01, 2006

mush you to death

title inspired by yinyee. Thanx

Just went for breakfast with Paul. Fellowship is good for the soul.
We spoke of fake meat. *laughs* (more details, ask)
And my level of judgement of distance is weird, I admit.
Quite near = walking distance or direct bus
Get used to it. XD

So due too that, I am, now, here, blogging. Lunch with my mama later.
Yesterday was good. After a day at school, I got off early to go to the bank to get some admin stuff done. Went to causeway at 3 then walked about for a while while waiting for the royal highness yy to arrive on that carriage...3437?
Well, we walked to school and thereafter, used to gym. I met my nice ex-classmate there.
Photos of proof :

then there was the compound I so detest at 8.30 where its filled with bodies and bodies of people zombie-ing into the air-conditioned hallway to press lifts to class.

Straight after that, Audrey almost made me cry on the train over some stupid on going crisis we have. Oh well, surviving on god alone is good enough for me. I'm still here aren't I?

eliZABeth 8:19 AM